Lily's 4th Birthday

Ever since we first held sweet Liliana, we have felt strongly that she is a part of our eternal family.  Because we know we will see her again and that we can be a family forever, we include her in our day-to-day lives.  We talk to the kids about her and include her in our prayers.  Eliza knows who her big sister is, she knows where she is, and she knows that we will see her again.  What a great way for her to learn about Heavenly Father's plan in a personal way.

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Eliza, who is very into birthdays as of late, was eager to make a cake to celebrate.  Together we made and decorated a simple birthday cake according to the colors Eliza chose.  We only had two candles on hand, but it worked out fine because Eliza and Caleb each had one to blow out.  Eliza was a little sad that Lily wouldn't get any of her cake, but she kept reassuring herself by saying "We get to share Lily's cake because we love her."

 

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With a few exceptions, I have found that most people who have lost a child (or anyone, for that matter) are very open to talking about their experience with people.  People are often hesitant to ask because they don't want to bring up a topic that might make the person uncomfortable.  It's like people are afraid they'll remind you about that sad thing and it might make you cry.  In actuality, the person probably appreciates you remembering their child and is more than willing to share their experience with you.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of Lily in one way or another, so when people ask questions it isn't suddenly reminding me about her and most likely not going to trigger a waterfall of emotions. We are always very touched by the friends and family who remember Lily and let us know.  It warms our hearts to know she's not forgotten.

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On the morning of Lily's birthday I was in a somber, pensive mood which appeared to everyone else as sad.  As he left, Mike told Eliza to give me extra hugs and kisses today because I was sad.   Eliza asked me why I was feeling sad.  I told her that I was sad because I missed Lily.

"Lily died," she told me.

I reminded her that today was Lily's birthday so I was thinking about her and wishing that Lily were here to play with her.  Eliza brought me a doll.

"You can hold this baby so you can be happy.... Are you happy?"


 She gave me lots of unsolicited hugs and kisses.  It was very sweet.  Some hours later when I was going about my routine, Eliza brought me the same doll she had given me earlier and out of the blue told me:

"I'm going to name her Lily.  She can be your little Lily.  The big Lily is in heaven."